Q. I am going to be a single mother and I am pretty young as well. Will I be able to find someone who will love me even though I have a baby?
A. Deciding to be a single parent is a HUGE commitment. Although I have a husband to help with childcare, a decent income and waited until I was 32 to become pregnant, I still found caring for a newborn to be all-consuming, completely life-altering, and extremely tiring. I can only imagine how hard it must be for single young mothers.
Of course you will find someone to love you when you have a baby– the baby. Having a baby puts a whole new perspective on the meaning of "unconditional love." It's difficult, but it can also be wonderful. As far as acquiring a "significant other," it’s likely you won't have the time or energy to meet anyone or date for a few years. But, when the time is right, it could happen.
Please do consider ALL of your options before signing up for the life-altering lifestyle of single motherhood. If you're having a hard time sorting out your future, do seek counseling. There are many no-cost or low-cost organizations such as women’s centers, medical clinics and religious institutions that can offer some guidance and support. It might help to have an objective perspective on your situation.
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Q. I am 25 weeks pregnant with my ex-boyfriend's baby. We weren't together when I got pregnant. Although we still remain friends, I don't know what I should expect from him. Is it right for me to want him to be involved in the pregnancy or should I just let him be involved when the baby comes? He has said in the past that he resents me because he thinks I got pregnant on purpose. It was an accident on both our parts. I feel that I expect too much out of him.
A. Without knowing the specifics of your relationship, it's hard to give you a solid answer. But, I do think all you should expect of your ex-boyfriend is financial support for your baby. If you want him to be involved in the child's life you can offer him the choice to do so, but you cannot force him to have a relationship with you or the baby. Maybe you should first decide what you want for you and your baby's future. Do you want to get back together with this boyfriend? If so, using your pregnancy as a way to get attention probably will not be effective. Maybe you will decide that you and your child will be better off without him.